Nyla Ali Khan
Healing, like grief, traverses boundaries.
Self-care is of the paramount importance after experiencing a loss. Cherishing beautiful memories and verbalizing one’s feelings are important aspects of self-care.
Grief cannot be processed if one hides one’s emotions.
A dear friend of mine, with whom I enjoyed an excellent professional relationship, was afflicted with the same disease as my father. After battling the disease for a while, he succumbed to it a couple of days ago.
After hearing that he had passed away, I relived my own bereavement of recent weeks, but I also focused on my capacity for enhancing resilience – both mine and that of another.
I reached out to my friend’s widow. She was processing her loss in her own way and candidly talked with me about her grief and painful emotions.
The experiences of my friend’s widow, as his care-taker, were similar to my mother’s journey as my father’s care-taker. The devotion and commitment with which she took care of her husband reminded me of my dear mother.
Their only child, who lives in New York City, was not able to make it to Oklahoma to see his ailing father because of the present lockdown, and he also was unable to come for the funeral.
At the end of our conversation, she said, “I hope you get to be with your mother soon.”
I responded, “I hope your son gets to be with you soon.”
In the process of grief and healing, willing hearts can traverse every divide.
NOTE: Dr. Nyla Ali Khan writes regularly for CapitolBeatOK and The City Sentinel. Her analyses of contemporary issues in the Indian sub-continent, including her native Kashmir, appear frequently around the world.