By Danniel Parker
Your Mom is fast. Your Mom is sloppy. Your Mom is hardcore.
But enough about the woman that gave birth to you.
The other Your Mom is a cross-dressing punk rock band from Norman, and they’re playing a show at the Blue Note, at 2408 N Robinson Ave.
It’s on May 26 and doors open at 8:30p.m. Also this concert is cheap as your… well you get the joke.
“We are fast, hard, old school punk rock, played the way it’s supposed to be played. We play borrowed or broken equipment, it’s speed over melody and it’s offensive as hell,” said Trevor Sheldon-Galyor.
Sheldon-Galyor plays for Your Mom. He’s the scraggily guy who admits he might look like a meth cook (He isn’t). He plays guitar, writes all the songs, and drags the other useless band members onstage, kicking and screaming and forces them to make idiots out of themselves.
Joel Simmons is the vocalist for Your Mom. He said he doesn’t sing as much as he screams ridiculous things from a notebook at people while fashioning plus-size dresses.
“Matt Root is our drummer and then there’s Kyle whats-his-name,” said Simmons. “He’s our bass player, he’s not important. He’s the young one of the band, we’re all over 30 and he’s just some kid that started hanging around us.”
“Who cares? They’re just the rhythm section,” he said.
Sheldon-Gaylor said his band is for punk-rock purists. He likens their sound to Bad Religion, The Subhumans and Propaghandi, and if those who haven’t heard of any of those bands might want to just stay at home and watch The Office, or do whatever it is they’d rather do.
Lyrically, their short songs come across like angry stand-up comedy bits, screamed out in a way that would make Sam Kinison proud. Topics include yelling at customers and threatening to soil their food, and reminding creationists that dinosaurs actually existed.
Your Mom’s been around. They formed in 2003 and promptly played their first show on Mother’s Day at the now defunct Buzz’s Subs in Norman.
Simmons said since it was a holiday, they decided celebrate by buying hideous women’s clothing from the Salvation Army, so they could wear it onstage. Immediately after finishing their set-list they were banned from the venue and told never to return.
Since then everyone in the band turned in their Lane Bryant evening-wear for boots, jeans and t-shirts, except for Simmons.
“I think Simmons might just like to wear women’s clothing. I mean, he does look good in a dress,” said Trevor.
“The other day he called me, all excited, because he found a website to buy big girl dresses from. I was like wow, good job, you actually did something,” Trevor said.
“I thought it was pretty entertaining when we’d go into the fitting rooms to try on dresses. You’d hear two burly sounding men saying things like, ‘No way my butt is a size 16,’” he said.
Their official band bio sums up their raison d’etre. They claim it is a meisterwerk of immense genius, and said a few other big pretentious foreign words about it.
“We formed because we could. We were tired of being in lousy bands individually, so we decided to form a super-group of suck. We are Your Mom, and we have come for your children, and your booze,” it reads.
The Constanza’s and Scabby Itchins are both opening for Your Mom. The Constanzas are a rockabilly punk-band from Shawnee and Scabby Itchins are a new group comprised of members of well established local acts, who can actually play their instruments, like Pulpit Red and The Ills.
“This is going to be one of those times when the opening band, just demolishes everybody else on the set,” said Simmons. “When I heard the line up of musicians in Scabby Itchins, I asked them, why did you have to form a band that would automatically blow us off the stage?”